History of the World: United Republics of the Americas
by Subotai45
Summary: Based off GuitarMan's History of the World, this features characters you've never seen before. I hope you enjoy reading, but most likely you'll understand none of it! Oh well. HOTW. So much better than CYOC.
1. United Republics of the Americas

URA

The nations of the world are gathered around a large table on which is displayed a map of the world as they know it. From the newly-born Latin Empire to the North American Federation to the mighty Russians and Communist Romanians, the world is different from the one we know.

The year is 1865 and the world is about to change.

Argentina's Point of View

I casually slip some sausage to my alpaca while one of the Russians jumps up onto the table with a large box of crowns. He frantically draws on the map, with the crowd jeering when he gets anything wrong. I continue to hide in the corner, with my "pal" Brazil. Brazil is a rather pushy nation, but we united after being fed up with being beaten up by stronger nations. He takes the opportunity to feed my alpaca. We still aren't sure why it eats sausage.

Spain, one of our enemies, jumps onto the table, with a large scroll in his hands. He calls "You have the map all wrong!" I look at the map and see nothing off, and look up from underneath my cowboy hat.

Spain rolls out the scroll and I take a closer look. The Americas are all colored in blue, instead of the usual patchwork of lime green, the color of the Latin Empire, pink for Mexico, and blue, which represents the mighty North American Federation.

The North American Federation was formed after the American Civil War. It only lasted a few months, and after its peaceful and swift end, the North American Federation was formed and dominated the western hemisphere. Our creation might have put a dent in his dominance, but we decided to ally ourselves with him, infuriating the European nations. It was that that Spain's map made jokes of.

Romania, the sole Communist, a fact for which he is repeatedly laughed at and threatened, remarked "That is a scary map." Romania was an absolute monarchy, and a very conservative one, but there was a coup that made him communist. He invaded to Ottoman Empire to try and liberate the rest of Romania, and only time will tell if he's successful.

After a closer look, I tell Spain he missed a spot. I also said it would be awesome if that union would happen.

Britain towers over us, and in a deep scary voice, warns us "Don't you dare!" Britain is universally feared. His colonies are spread across the world like the tentacles of an octopus, and many countries rely on him for trade. He's very anti-Communist.

The NAF (North American Federation), slyly asks "Should we tell them now? Or wait til next month when it becomes official?"

Caught by surprise, I stammer out a response "Next month is fine." I say "I have everything ready to go."

Germany, the most warlike nation in the world, goes bug-eyed, and spills his beer all over the table. Germany has been involved in countless wars, from America to Scandinavia to Austria to Belgium, Germany's wars are neverending.

The grizzled mercenary sharpening his knives in the shadows, remarks "If you unite, God will permit me to invade with weapons never before seen on this earth." The mercenary used to be the chancellor of the Ottoman Empire. There was a radical Islamic leader in Afghanistan that he dealt with, and he brought the British troops that were captured with him when he fled the Ottoman Empire. He now works for pay.

Brazil temporarily wakes up from his nap to cry out "World War Three!" The first two being the invasions of the NAF. I took part in the second one. I don't want to talk about it.

"God has ordained this union." I claim, lying, badly.

Brazil wakes up at an inopportune moment and asks what's going on. I tell him to go back to sleep.

"Look, if your union does happen, I will kill someone." the mercenary threatens.

Brazil begins to cry, pleading for his life.

"Relax guys" the NAF says, leaning back in his chair "You have a month before we actually unite."

The mercenary growls "You'll be too powerful" and stalks off. We see him glowering in the corner, and I shudder. He may not be too bad by himself, but he's a sign of death more obvious than a vulture.

Spain walks over to the table, his military uniform covered in ribbons and medals. Spain is one of the three fascist nations, and gets into arguments with the American powers on a daily basis. Something about us wanting to take Cuba from him, I don't quite understand it. Spain usually gets in price wars with his fellow fascists, the Japans, and causes vast inflation, which the rest of us are quick to take advantage of. He bellows "If they actually unite, I will take aggressive action!"

I'm used to it.

Spain and the North American Federation continue to argue about Cuba, while I feed my alpaca and take it for a ride so it won't poop in the map room.

When I get back, Spain is raving about how he'll get the world to attack our fictitious union, and the NAF is arguing back.

Germany, a friend, says he'll invade. He claims that having two continents under one government is scary and intimidating. People have a hard time believing we'd be peaceful.


	2. Alliance and Embargo

So they decide to start planning for war.

And we're the warlike ones. Sure.

Russia has a bad habit of involving itself in everything. We end up with the Treaty of Vladivostok, which made peace between Italy and France, because Russia can't keep his nose out of everyone's business. And for some strange reason Russia decided to patch together an alliance of, well, everyone against us.

"I am invading if you actually form this union!" Russia angrily said, muffled by his scarf. Russia was the dominant power in Eastern Europe and northern Asia. He gets into lots of wars with Germany, and fights with the NAF. He's always wrapped up in a winter coat and scarf, with only the top of his head sticking out of the layers of clothing.

"The United Republics of the Americas will be rather upset if you do that." I calmly reply, giving my fake nation a name.

Britain falls out of his chair and begins to laugh on the floor, thoroughly rumpling his business suit. Britain has a well-deserved reputation as a money-hoarder.

"I hope you see that this will lead to a world war and stop when you realize that it isn't in your interest." Russia proclaims, glaring at the thoroughly amused Britain.

"Oh, that would be no fun." I remark "We're strong enough to beat up you European barbarians."

"I mean you should stop this so it doesn't escalate into a world war, which would not be fun." Russia angrily replies. Even his scarf seemed angry, and his hair seemed to be twitching with disgust.

"Not for you. You could never win a battle against me." the NAF interrupts. He leans forward and reaches for the pistol at his side. His Union-blue military uniform, decorated with campaign ribbons, merely accented the gesture.

Russia looks around, and sensing support, proclaims "I am forming an alliance against the North American Federation and the Latin Empire. All are welcome to join."

"This makes URA sad." the NAF quickly responds, glancing at me.

"URA refuses to join." I reply.

Spain begins to laugh, his numerous medals making a jingling sound.

A small voice speaks up "I think I'll join."

Everyone looks around, but no one is there.

I attempt to spot him, and after a few sweeping glances around the room, I see a partially-visible Asian country with a naval uniform on. Everyone forgets Japan. He has no company is his isolated corner of the world and rarely ventures into the outside world. Most of us forget he exists.

"Japan!" I pretend to start crying "I thought we were friends!"

The Ottoman Empire walks in, wearing a turban and flowing robes, with a large sword at his side. As he missed the entire issue, he asked what URA was.

"The United Republics of the Americas." Britain glumly replies, sitting with a notepad and attempting to figure out how to fight without my trade with him.

"Oh, they have to be joking" the Turk replies, tugging on his beard.

"I thought so." Britain morosely answers "After talking to Argentina I'm not so sure anymore."

"And the 5 day peace has ended." Spain sighs.

"This doesn't even make sense!" Russia explodes. "One of you speaks Spanish, the other speaks English, you have no cultural ties, how is this even happening!"

"What happens with Mexico?" the Ottoman inquires.

"We didn't ask." Russia answers "We think they'll make him join."

"I'm planning on attacking." Germany wickedly says. He begins to sharpen a large sword, before using it to clean his nails. He runs his fingers through his blond hair before softening and saying "But I don't want to cut off relations with the Latin Empire or North American Federation." he continues.

"Thanks! I love you!" I yell across the room. This causes a short awkward silence that Germany interrupts.

"Okay, I'm loved. I side with the Latin Empire." Germany replies with a smile.

"We're special." I grin.

All is not well, because no sooner did Germany profess his love than Spain had to spoil things and declare an embargo. Really?

Romania, pipes up and says "Stupid fascists can mind there own business. I don't threaten trade" Romania might be one of the smallest countries, but that doesn't stop him from annoying everyone.

"Go home child, this is adult business." Russia scolds.

"And you're a midget." Britain says, rubbing salt into the wound.

"URA refuses to participate in this embargo against URA." I interrupt. "Romania, are you just going to sit there and take this?"

"Oh, the fascists are stupid." Romania calmly replies. "Arguing with them is pointless."

Belatedly, Russia says "What is this URA of which you speak? I recognize no such thing."

"Correct." I reply "It won't exist until April. I hope you recognize it then."

"I'm embargoed anyway. I'm still going to trade with them." Romania defiantly says, leaning forward in his chair, as if he expects to need to jump out of his and hit someone in the face.

"Thanks." The NAF grins, shooting a glance over. We welcome the support, but when we look at each other we realize it isn't enough.

"Great, now I have to send a fleet to stop you." Spain grumbles, moving over to talk to Britain.

"I'll cancel our treaty." Russia threatens, towering over Romania. Romania visibly shivers, and decides he doesn't want to trade with the NAF anymore.

Bummer.


	3. The Reveal

The Reveal

At this point, Brazil had come in screaming his head off about how "everyone was invading" and "we were about to die".

"You're overacting" I tell him, before shooting a glance over toward the crowd of people over at the other side of the room.

A slightly transparent outline, who I assume is Japan, sits there muttering "Just a joke just a joke just a joke..." and eating sushi while manically giggling.

At this point the NAF and I have done all we could do. So we sit back and watch.

Russia towers above the crowd. His shouts are easily audible. I chuckle when worlds like Galapagos and Columbia are tossed about as possible invasion points, knowing they won't be necessary. I laugh when swords are brandished, and plaster an innocent look on my face when they turn towards me.

Poland walks into the rooms. Clad in a flamboyant outfit consisting of various bright colors, he strides in as if he owns the place. Unfortunately, he walks over the invasion planners.

The shouts are getting angrier and angrier. The floor rumbles, dust falls from the ceiling. Brazil charges into the room, pleading with the NAF and I to end it, fearing they'll murder us all. We beg him to let us continue, but he won't budge.

"Everyone!" I announce, standing on a chair. Heads turn, faces frown, nations glare, sabers rattle. Brazil gulps, and begins to speak. The NAF cups a hand over his mouth, muffling him, and nods for me to continue.

"Information on our new country will be nailed to the door, for you all to look at and pee yourselves. That is all." I take a notepad and scribble something on it, then stick it to the door with a bayonet.

The angry mob shuffles over to the door, brandishing swords. They read the sign.

"_**IT WAS A JOKE! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE IT!"**_

They don't understand the humor in the situation.

The NAF and I, however, find it quite amusing. We struggle to control our laughter while the angry nations bear down on us. Japan runs in circles screaming "I knew it I knew it I knew it! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

I bask in the anger. I enjoy it.

The invasion plans collapse, but URA lives on.

In our hearts.

Whenever it's quiet at the meeting area, we merely scream "URA!"

Whenever there is boredom, we speak about the United Republics of the Americas.

The NAF and I loudly debate forming colonies in Croatia.

URA lives on.

**Author's Note: As I said in the summary, this is based off of the History of the World game run by the one and only GuitarMan. If you fall in love with our world, or you're at least mildly interested, Fingon888 is also writing about this. Maybe someday you'll become part of our always-on-the-brink-of-war, about-to-kill-each-other, threatening and violent family.**

**Happy reading.**


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